AWFUL PR QUOTES

Jan 03 2011

Advanced Communication Breakdown

From MPRM Communications:

MPRM Communications serves a multi-screen world of media and entertainment with a creative blend of advanced communication techniques.

Holy shit, that sounds incredible.  But tell me, is Earth a multi-screen world?  Because for this project, we’re really going to need to focus on Earth.

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Apr 06 2010

Samsung VP of Marketing Peggy Ang on 3D commercials

"3D is a new dimension, literally and figuratively."

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Nov 06 2009

Chuck Russell on his remake of ‘Arabian Nights’

“Through the use of a new generation of visual technologies, we will be able to quite literally take audiences around the world on a magic carpet ride.”

A magic carpet ride, literally.  Sounds amazing!

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Quotes from the ‘Avatar’ featurette

"We were creating an entire world from scratch."

"It just doesn’t have a precedent."

"One thing I’m always going to take with me is that I was a part of a revolutionary experience." - Zoe Saldana

"We’re always trying to push the envelope.  This time we were trying to push the envelope, and it pushed back.  And then we pushed harder.  And it took a long time."  - James Cameron

"It doesn’t look like anything you’ve seen before."

"It’s not just a movie, it’s a universe."

The Avatar crew: clearly God’s equal in universe creation.

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Oct 27 2009

Choreographer Travis Payne on the original plans for the Michael Jackson concert

“We had 3D screens and also frontal elements and overhead elements that actually created a 4D environment that the audience was sitting in.”

The fourth dimension is still time, right?  This sounds awesome.

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Oct 20 2009

Seth Green’s ‘Dude Where’s My Bar’ part three

Business Guy at computer

Game designer John Montgomery of Threshold Interactive said, “While we may call the game a ‘lite’ version of an alternate reality, there is nothing ‘light’ about the technological innovations and the degree to which the layers of games can be customized and controlled by the player.”

Possible edit: “While these technological innovations may not make you ‘fat’, the degree to which the layers of games can be customized and controlled by the player certainly could be described as ‘phat.’”

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Seth Green’s ‘Dude Where’s My Bar’ part two

“Butterfinger has long been associated with clever, irreverent humor,” said Butterfinger marketing manager Daniel Jhung. “Leave it to this brand to serve up the first-ever consumer packaged goods ARG with a light, Butterfinger twist.” Jhung added, “This game is a salute to the truly clever community of ARG enthusiasts everywhere. They’ve made a huge impact on pop culture and given a new face to gaming.”

The first-ever consumer packaged goods ARG?  Someone get Guinness on the phone.

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Seth Green’s ‘Dude Where’s My Bar’ part one

This quote gARGLes my balls:

Dubbed an “alternate reality game lite” (ARGL), DudeWheresMyBar.com propels fans into an entertaining storyline created by the comedic genius of Seth Green and the one-and-only iconic candy bar brand. “Dude, Where’s My Bar?” combines the innovations of a multi-platform narrative game with video vignettes featuring Green and co-starring actors Sean Cullen, Stuart Pankin and Jon Wellner.

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Disney star David Henrie on his upcoming movie

David Henrie of the Disney Channel series “Wizards of Waverly Place” will pair with Platinum Studios to develop its comic book series, “The Weapon,” into a feature film he’d star in.

"Weapon" follows martial arts enthusiast and inventor Tommy Zhou, who has developed a ground-breaking portable innovation that an evil order will stop at nothing to steal.

“‘The Weapon’ is so awesome, and my Disney audience will enjoy the empowerment and action-filled journey my character experiences,” Henrie said. “I’m a huge fan and student of MMA (mixed martial arts), and I hope to bring that to the character of Tommy.”

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Sep 16 2009

Director Shawn Levy on a movie about robots that box

The movie: “The Real Steel story line takes place in a near future where human boxing has been outlawed, and heavy, humanoid robots slug it out in the ring instead. Into this world step a father and his estranged teenage son, who train an extraordinary fighter.”

The awful PR quote:

"Steven’s passion for this project was absolutely infectious and I’m so excited to bring this story to life," Levy said. "In a movie filled with these mechanical warriors, at its core ‘Real Steel’ is an incredibly human story."

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